When we were born into this life, we came here with a wide open heart full of wonder without any expectation, prejudice, or ego. Completely innocent, we started this life with a clean slate and complete utter trust in all our surroundings as soon as we've opened our eyes for the first time. At that time, we felt completely whole, and then time went on and we got older...
Skipping ahead, at a period in your life, things are running along like normal and you're happily carrying on, day to day. Some days are slightly better than others yet everything is generally good for the most part, up until something happened. Either you've lost your job, lost a friend, found out you've been excluded, or to the extreme, have someone close to you pass. Whatever it was, you just knew that nothing would ever be quite the same again, and then what do you do? Feeling like a part of you has just vacated, you try and fill the void. Upon filling that void, there are many ways to go about it, some of which are healthy and others, not so healthy, and unfortunately, the majority of us go the unhealthy route other wise known as addiction.
So what is addiction? Addiction is the act of constantly seeking ways to fill the void in all the wrong places. It shows its face in many things which are easily accessible to us such as the internet, food, shopping, gambling, video games, gossip and drama, and more commonly, drugs and alcohol etc. All addictions are equally destructive because they are all found in the same way yet they just show up in different areas in our lives. The longer you stay on the path of addiction, the bigger the void becomes while your trying to fill it up. I know this from experience from cigarettes and alcohol.
For a big chunk of my life, I could not find any excuse not to smoke or drink as it was a normal way of life for me back then and it was all I knew. It was the way I dealt with any emotional discomfort, even just boredom. Now as I'm getting older, (being one year smoke-free) through self reflection and a progressive change of attitude I am now finding better and healthier ways to seek emotional comfort. Down below is a list of what I like to call, the list of anti-addiction methods which I would like to share with you.
- Limit Your Time on Social Media: Having the convenience of keeping in touch with good friends, long lost relatives and old colleagues is a wonderful thing. Sharing some fun interesting links, just keeping in touch, or even self promoting is all well and good but social media (especially Facebook) can easily become a real waste of time and a distraction from you living your truth if you let it. If you catch yourself blankly staring at the screen while scrolling for too long and not really paying that much attention to any of the content on your feed, that would be the perfect time to just walk away before it drains any more of your soul making you more depressed. There is no need to feel jealousy of someone else’s success, envious over someone’s vacation pics, resentment over why you weren’t invited to a gathering, or the amount of likes to determine your self worth. And to get a real response from someone, sending them a private message is way better than posting vague, cryptic statuses. We've all done it, but live and learn...
- Direct Confrontation: If the cause of your upset included a person, If you feel brave enough, confronting the person directly would be most effective if it's done calmly and without anger. But seeing as confrontation may not be for everyone, I assure you the other methods listed below should at least help make you feel better, depending on the circumstance.
- Exercise and Fresh Air: Sitting inside and stewing in your own self pity will only make things worse, and not to mention, it is very unhealthy. Getting outside, breathing in Mother Nature's healing energy while getting the blood flowing through your body is the perfect release. Just a brief walk around the block can make a world of difference, even if the weather's not optimal. Rain or shine, it's still fresh air which is essential for our well being. And if there's any reason you can't get outside, open the windows and let the fresh air circulate through your home. And as for exercise, you don't have to be a hardcore 6am jogger. Even just some light stretching can make all the difference. Restorative yoga is perfect for the mildest type of exercise.
- Prayer and Meditation: Having respect to what anyone's faiths or belief's are, pray to your God(s), talk to your angels & guides, or just meditate. Meditation takes no real effort or special beliefs. Just sitting quietly, concentrating on nothing is basically how it is done and you just let any thoughts that come across your mind (as they always do) pass through. Making progress with this takes patience and time but in the end is so good for your mind and well worth the time in the end. I've also found that this method has also worked wonders in helping me to not drink or smoke.
- Cuddle with your Pets: Got a friendly fuzzy fur baby? Take the time to give them pats as the unconditional love that they have for you is even more healing when you reciprocate that love back, especially if your fur baby purrs as purring vibrates at a frequency which is beneficial for your health in many ways.
- Aromatherapy and Bathing: Avoiding chemicals is more important than a lot of people realize when it comes to well being. And after you've either had a bath, shower, or even just splashed water on your face, do you notice an improvement on the way you feel? That's because water, alone carries the same type of ions which our bodies are made up of and coming into contact with it reminds our conscious bodies why we are here. It's like a type of physical renewal and that is why I believe it is so typically used in baptisms. In my bath water, I like to use a combination of himalayan pink salt/dead sea salt, epsom salt, baking soda, and essential oils such as Frankincense and/or Lavender. The salts and baking soda help with detoxification and the pleasant scents from natural ingredients also help the brain to relax and make you feel comforted. There are also some nice and natural aromatherapy products available to buy if you look around. One place you can buy from is Green Envy Cosmetics who make really good quality products. Burning natural incense is also good for clearing the energy around you.
- Music: When it feels as though the world may not understand you, music is always by your side. It always helps best when you're listening to something that matches your mood. There's nothing much worse than listening to something which forces you to be happy when you're in a funk. Just think of how the Blues got started. When it feels right and whatever groove you're in, let the music be your doctor. And no matter how bad you think you sound, it always helps to sing. Singing not only helps elevate your mood but it also helps to open up and activate your throat chakra.
- Cathartic Writing: Need to get some stuff off your chest? Write it down. Get those nasty feelings out and when you're done, some people recommend tearing it up or burning it as a form of release to seal the deal. I, for one have thought about it but wished I did when I looked back in my journals from years ago, lol. Also, it is a great way to be mindful of your emotions which you are going through at the time which leads to the next option.
- Be True to Your Feelings: Actually, being more than just an option, this is a must. Your feelings are there for a reason and you must honour them every step of the way. If you try to numb them with addiction, they will only come back more intense than before. I know this from experience. There is no real escape from them because they are a part of you and so they, just like yourself, must be cared for and embraced. So when you are feeling low, it is best to be as gentle on yourself as possible, and remember that this, too, shall pass. This is where cathartic writing helps and so can meditation/prayer, just as well.
- Talk to the One you can Trust: A good friend, family member, spouse, or whomever you trust the most is always good to have around. If they genuinely care, they will listen when you tell them what you're going through, but at the same time, you don't have to co-dependently weigh them down, either. As all relationships are different, healthy relationships are all about balance and mutual respect and when you can keep lifting each other up, then it's a win win situation all around. :)
- Curl up in a Blanket: Especially if the weather is chilly, grab a thick and cozy blanket, curl up on the couch and maybe even find something calming to watch on the TV. Nature shows narrated by David Attenborough are visually wonderful and his voice is quite relaxing to listen to. Or perhaps you can put on one of your favourite movies you enjoyed as a child. Remember, there is no shame in reflecting back to a time when you felt safe and protected as it can be very comforting.
- Get Creative: Do you have a creative hobby? Do you like to get crafty? Even though when it sometimes may seem like to biggest challenge to even get up and put clothes on, let alone dive right in to a creative project, once you start to drag out your sketchbook or kitting needles, then the world's your oyster. The act of just doing it is therapy in itself and however it will turn out will be amazing because it'll be one of a kind.
- Eat Healthy: All too often, when we're feeling down in the dumps (and I'm guilty for this, too), we tend to seek solace in junk food. After the chip bag, candy bar wrapper, or the ice cream bowl is empty, so is our sense of self worth, even more so than before we were trying to fill it up, gaining nothing but more calories we didn't need. Instead, sweet, crunchy, raw veggies with dip, some fresh fruit, or nuts and seeds are just a few examples of way better options which can taste delicious, even more so when you think of how they provide actual nutrients for you.
- Laughter!: No matter how bad life may sometimes seem, there is always something to laugh about. Laughter is healthy because it decreases stress hormones and increases immune cells. I’ve always believed that you can never laugh too much. Everyone has a different sense of humour. I, for one have been known to have a slightly abnormal sense of humour and I don’t care. I just laugh because I can :)
- Notice the World Around You: There is so much around us to admire and appreciate, big or small, if you just look. When I’m out and about, I find people watching can be quite entertaining. That is, or course if they’re not just staring at their mobile device because that is just boooring. Sadly, more people seem to be missing out on so much, mainly for that reason. When you can start to appreciate more of the little things that you see or overhear, the world can become a more interesting place if you just pay attention.
Now, having all that said, I hope you’ve enjoyed this article and that you’ll find at least some of these pointers helpful. I may not be an expert or have a PhD, but I, just like you am another human being, doing the best I can in this thing called life. So please feel free to comment. I’ve spent some good time putting this all together (had to re-write due to technical difficulties, lol) for you so any of your honest feedback in the comments would be so appreciated! Remember to take the best care of yourselves and eachother. Light, love, & namaste! :)
